[ Pobierz całość w formacie PDF ]

Man, this wasn t going to go well.  Come on, Jess, you know that s not how it was.
 Do I? How do I know you didn t play me into thinking the sex was all my idea? I have never& I
mean, I just don t  She turned redder.  I don t attack men like that, she whispered, bowing her head.  I
trusted you& him& oh, God, I m going to be sick. I know Lucas. Do you get that? I know who he is and
34 www.samhainpublishing.com
All of You
what he s like, what he ll say and who he ll say it to. I know where he s been. All the blood left her face.
 Oh, God, we didn t even use a condom!
 I m healthy, Jess 
 How am I supposed to believe you? She covered her eyes with her hands.  I don t know anything
about you at all. I should never have asked you up to my apartment. Why didn t I listen to my instincts?
Why didn t I just break up with you and go?
He desperately wished he could come up with an argument. The only reason she was probably still
standing there was because she didn t know his past. If she knew what he was hoping for his future, she d
probably run screaming. So he went with the only argument he knew she couldn t refute.
 Because you didn t want Lucas. If she had, he d have left her apartment and never looked back.
 You never wanted him.
It took her a few moments before she shook her head. When she looked up again, her eyes so
vulnerable and sharp at the same time, it made something in him crack to know he d put such a look on her
face.  My feelings didn t seem to have mattered to you last night. All I feel now is used.
 No, I didn t use you. I swear. He could see why she might think so, but it hurt to categorize their
experience as some cheap thrill.  What happened last night was the most incredible experience of my life.
She shook her head, seemingly stung.  Please, you ve already been in my bed, you don t have to get
stupidly poetic now.
 It s not poetry. He could see on her face that she d already closed her mind to whatever he might
have to say. Still, she deserved to know why.  I didn t tell you the truth last night because I couldn t. I
wanted to, but you would ve slapped my face and never given me the time of day.
 At least you d have been honest.
 I should have been, he agreed. He almost wished he had.  I should have let you slap me and then
camped out in front of your office until you talked to me again. Then I d have talked to you until you
agreed to go out with me again. Then, maybe, I could have made love to you until we were both too tired to
be anything but happy.
She looked around nervously, looking for anyone who might be listening. He didn t care who
listened. Nothing mattered but her. What she believed. What she accepted.
 I didn t, though, and I m sorry. But you have to understand all my life, I ve had a plan before I did
anything, and if I had planned this, it would have been perfect from step one. Meeting you blew every plan
I ve ever made completely out of the water. I didn t know my left foot from my right after you smiled.
There was no way I was going to be able to say no to you or myself last night. I was wrong, Jess. I
admit it. I ll do anything I can to make it up to you. Just don t& don t throw away what happened because I
was an idiot.
www.samhainpublishing.com 35
Dee Tenorio
She studied her shoes. They were spotless white tennis shoes, tied neatly in a double knot, her equally
spotless white socks folded evenly at her ankles. But he didn t see any answers there. He had a feeling she
couldn t see any either.
 There has to be a way past this.
She frowned at her shoes even harder. Then she shook her head.  There isn t. Let s just leave last
night as what it was. Sex for sex s sake.
 Don t say that, Jess.
She straightened her shoulders and pulled away from the banister, pinning him with a glare that would
have made his mother cringe.  That s exactly what I meant it to be, remember? It was the only thing about
last night that wasn t a lie. And my name is Jessica. With the bearing of a queen, she walked down the
remaining steps and through the hall, out of the building. Out of his life.
Kyle told himself he let her go because he d promised not to chase her down the stairs, but the truth
was his legs couldn t have carried him if he d tried. Hurt swamped him. If she d staked him with a javelin,
it couldn t have hurt more. So he sagged down on the top step to try and breathe. That didn t go off so well,
either. For some reason he couldn t quite explain, but was sure he d be thinking about a lot later, his heart
didn t seem to be beating. Inside, he was a silent, hollow mess.
For the first time in his life, that was a bad thing.
He kept staring where she d been, replaying what she d said, thinking about the pain in her eyes as
she d said it. She d wavered. It might be the imaginings of a desperate man, but he was sure she d wavered.
Did she know, like he did, that they couldn t just push last night out of their minds as if it had never
happened?
It had happened and it changed everything.
That had been happening to him a lot lately. It needed doing, but change was hard. You had to face a
lot of things about yourself you didn t want to face. He winced. It was being polite to call himself shallow.
He enjoyed fine things, fine women and fine living, preferably in a constantly rotating order. Sure, he
worked hard as an investment banker but for all the years it took to get himself to that position, he d never
let it interfere with his good time.
Until six months ago.
That was when it had truly started, the subtle dissatisfaction with his life. His beautiful, meaningless,
responsibility-free life. Somehow, in that creeping, pervasive way of things one never saw coming, he
became glaringly aware that something in him was missing. Something important. Something significant.
But he had no idea what and it began to drive him crazy. Then came Belinda s family reunion, when he
made the tactical error of holding one of the endless supply of babies and bam! There went the
neighborhood.
36 www.samhainpublishing.com
All of You
His first impression was panic. People never handed him children. He couldn t remember the last time
he d even touched one. But the baby turned out to be a soft, wriggling weight, fitting into the crook of his
arm with no fuss at all; just a toothless grin and a splash of drool.
Something about her smelled sweet and powdery. She was wearing a little white bonnet on her head,
shading bright blue eyes that glittered at him, completely devoid of anything but genuine interest. She d
slapped his cheek a few times, trying to get a hold of his face, and he d laughed as she smiled, obviously
proud of herself.
Then it happened.
There was no sound, no pain, no anything to signal that his life had broken in half. Just a baby smile, a
baby smell, and a sense that this was what he d been looking for. The thing he wanted for his own.
After that he started noticing kids everywhere he went. Not an easy thing, given his lifestyle. No one
brought their children to an investment bank, but they kept pictures on their desks. Little girls with missing
front teeth. Boys wearing baseball caps, holding bats over their shoulders and grinning as if they knew the
next pitch was a homerun. Quick runs to the grocery store put more of them in his path. Jogs he always
took in the morning found a whole host of kids walking to bus stops he d never noticed before. The world
was, apparently, utterly full of children.
The bigger revelation was discovering he was dating them.
He d never cared about women s ages before. Why would he? His only concern was enjoying their [ Pobierz całość w formacie PDF ]

zanotowane.pl

doc.pisz.pl

pdf.pisz.pl

forum-gsm.htw.pl