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"What do you think? Prank call?" Joe asked, all business now, as she pulled out an
emergency run sheet and attached it the clipboard.
Eric put on his sunglasses, giving him the ultimate bad boy look that made her mouth go
surprisingly dry in seconds.
"Probably," he said as he flicked on the emergency lights.
Two minutes later they were pulling up in front of a small townhouse. Joe jumped out of
the ambulance and opened the backdoors. Eric was there instantly, helping her unload
the stretcher. As they pushed the stretcher up the driveway of the small townhouse a
woman in her early thirties with tightly curled mousy brown hair came running out,
holding her cell phone against her chest.
"Thank god you're here!" she cried out, tears ran down her cheeks as she raced towards
them.
"Where's the emergency, ma'am?" Eric asked as he pulled on a pair purple nitro gloves as
Joe continued to push the stretcher. As soon as he was done he took over pulling the
stretcher so she could do the same. After twelve years they were at the point where
words were unnecessary. Working together was like a well coordinated dance. They could
anticipate each other's needs without a word.
She gestured frantically with the cell phone towards the house. "He's in the bathroom! He
won't open the door, but he told me to call 911 and he won't tell me what's wrong! It's
gotta be bad....oh god!" She put a hand over her mouth and sobbed loudly.
"We'll have a look and see what we can do to help," Joe said softly. She could promise
that everything was okay and that they'd take care of it, but only if she wanted to face a
huge lawsuit. It was always best to avoid making promises and watch each other's backs.
They'd come across their share of disgruntled patients and family members looking to get
back at someone or make a quick buck and knew all the key words to avoid by heart.
The woman nodded in jerky motions. "T-that stretcher won't fit down the hall," she said
between sobs.
Without a word they pushed the stretcher against the house. "That's fine, ma'am. Can
you show us where he is now?" Eric asked, throwing the tech bag over his shoulder.
They followed the woman into a small foyer that led to a narrow hallway with a light
lavender door at the end. Before they reached the door they could hear a man grunting
and swearing.
"Sean?" the woman said, knocking on the door. "The ambulance is here!"
"Thank god," the man said, gasping.
Joe reached out and tried the doorknob only to find it locked. "Sir? We need you to unlock
the door if you want help."
There was a slight pause before he said, "Marie?"
"Yes?" Marie said, sobbing softly.
"I need you to go find my insurance card. It's in my office," he said, sounding distressed.
The woman looked confused, but did as she was asked. "O-kay, Sean."
A minute later they heard the lock click. "Okay, come in," Sean said, sounding in pain.
"Just shut the door behind you."
Joe and Eric shared a look before stepping inside, Eric first. It was a bit of a squeeze as
they stepped inside the small bathroom and shut the door behind them. They found a
man in his late thirties wearing a gray tee shirt and nothing else, kneeling on the floor,
bent over the edge of the tub and looking incredibly uncomfortable. Of course she'd be
uncomfortable with two strangers in the room and her bare ass pointing out for all to see.
She quickly looked around for blood or any obvious signs of trauma and found nothing but
his discarded pants on the floor and a small tube of personal lube on the counter in the
rather tidy bathroom. She was about to ask him what was wrong when a vibrating sound
reached her ears. She frowned and looked at his pants.
"Is that your phone going off, sir?" she asked.
"No," he said softly.
"What seems to be the problem today, sir?" Eric asked as he quickly assessed the
situation. He looked just as confused as she felt.
"I-I had an accident," the man stammered.
"Okay," Eric said slowly. "Where are you injured?" As he asked, Joe ran her eyes over the
man again and couldn't see anything wrong.
The man averted his eyes and sucked in a deep breath. "I slipped on something," he said
and Joe again wondered where the hell that phone was.
Eric nodded sympathetically. "Okay, do you think you broke anything when you slipped?"
he asked, setting down the tech bag on the narrow counter.
Sean shook his head. "No.....I...." He licked his lips nervously. "It's inside me," he
whispered hoarsely.
As if on cue their eyes dropped to his exposed ass.
"I see," they both murmured.
Joe cleared her throat. "And that vibrating sound....." she prompted.
"Is coming from me," Sean said tightly.
"What is-" Eric started only to be cut off by Sean.
"It's a vibrator. My wife's. S-she must have left it out on the floor because..because I
came in here to take a shower and slipped and landed on it. I tried to pull it out, but I
can't reach it," the man rambled on.
"I see," Eric said and Joe could tell he was struggling just as hard as she was not to
laugh. Laughing at patients was bad she learned her first year. It could set them off into
violence, a shouting match or worse, a write up. "So, um, you slipped on the floor and
landed on it causing it to impale you?" Eric asked in his most professional tone, making it
harder for her not to laugh.
"Yes, that's exactly what happened," Sean said, sounding relieved that they were at least
pretending to buy his story.
"Can you stand up?" Joe asked.
Sean shook his head. "No, it's eight inches long. Every time I try to stand it really really
hurts!" he cried.
Eight inches, pretty impressive, she thought and could definitely be a problem moving
him, but they were going to have to do it.
"Please don't tell my wife," he said, sounding mortified.
"Our only concern right now is getting you to the hospital. What you tell your wife is your
business," Eric said casually, but she didn't miss the humor in his eyes.
"Do you think...do you think one of you could possibly get it out?" Sean asked, sounding
hopeful.
Eric threw her a horrified look as he shook his head frantically. She had to agree. There
just wasn't enough money on earth to make her want to put her fingers up some guy's
ass and retrieve an eight inch vibrator. Nope, not going to happen.
"I'm sorry, sir, but we can't extricate something embedded in your body," she said
smoothly, inwardly thanking OEMS then and there for that little rule. The only time they [ Pobierz całość w formacie PDF ]

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